11 de abril de 2010

my body is an empty hole.

i took some time off from the world. it felt good. i like to run away and then, eventually, come back. though the challenge of not returning is really appealing. i'm tired of feeling uncomfortable and out of place. i need a place, where the streets are not full of memories, names and history. a place, where i have no identity. i tried do it here. i tried to do it with you. but it is no longer possible. this is a city of ghosts. so, i'm walking away. for good. i packed everything in an empty bag. a bag that i want to fill with experiences and photos of people i'll meet in this journey. however, i am afraid. i am afraid of ending up with a huge bag full of stories and having no one to share them with. but i accepted the risk. i'm silently broken. it won't make a difference anyway. i wanted to say i'm sorry and i'm gonna miss you. but i couldn't. it was stronger than me. so, i just left. i kept saying i wasn't the bad the guy for so long that i guess i convinced myself i wasn't. it turned out i am. and i always were. you were right. you were so right. but i never meant to hurt you.

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